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But you do have to nip the relationship in the bud.If you think you can shift the extramarital relationship back to something more innocent, you're probably wrong, says Vaughan.This is a time when cold turkey is best, she recommends.Every day thousands of people join Ashley Madison to find discreet relationships of all kinds. But if you’re looking to add a bit more of an air of mystery, you can use our blur or mask tools.Am I either downplaying the relationship to friends or family members, or keeping it a secret altogether? Not only do we have the option to connect with someone at work, online "affairs" are rife, says Jessica Le Roy, founder and clinical director of the Center for the Psychology of Women. Many people have a hard time seeing what's so wrong about this type of friendship."Now, if you're thinking about your old boyfriend, you can probably find him on Facebook." Plus, online communication makes connection both easier and more intense, more quickly. Culturally, we tend to believe that cheating is having sex with someone other than your spouse, period.Finding out your partner's been emotionally canoodling with someone else makes you think, " The big red flag is the secrecy.

Everyone has different reasons for joining a dating site like Ashley Madison, but they are united in a desire to seek out real, discreet connections.

Single, attached, looking to explore, or just curious to discover what's out there — Ashley Madison is the most open-minded dating community in the world. We will never ask you to log in using a public social network account, and we have several features designed to help you keep your private life private—whatever your reasons. For even more discretion, you can mark photos as private and only share those with members who catch your eye.

You don't need to link your Ashley Madison account to any other social network. Instead use a private email address (for even more discretion, we recommend using a unique email just for this account). We know sometimes it can be daunting to see an inbox full of messages.

But Vaughan says, "emotional affairs tend to escalate in increments," from e-mails to lunch to drinks.

Even as it gets more serious, it's still easy to think of it as innocent because it's "only" lunch.

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