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After we had messed up, I told him that we needed to set boundaries. In the book of Solomon, Solomon’s wife describes their relationship, “His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me! It is never too late to have a talk about boundaries or change your boundaries. If you are walking with God, living by the power of the Holy Spirit, and working through all the questions above, I believe you will know if you and your boyfriend can hug and cuddle and to what extent.
We could have avoided this confusion if we would have set boundaries day one. In high school, I could have made out with a stranger and not felt guilty. I know he loved God, but I don’t think his desire to pursue purity was as big as my desire. I tried to give him opportunities to set boundaries. I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” (Solomon 2:6-7). If the Holy Spirit is convicting you about something, you have to listen. Remember, pleasing God is way more important that pleasing your flesh.
That would be awesome, but it’s not always realistic. If you are a Christian, God isn’t a piece of your pie. Why date someone who doesn’t even have God as a piece of the pie? Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. Your list is designed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it. Your heart and the holiness of marriage are too important to flippantly give away because you are frustrated, impatient, or settling. My thought was I’m still a “good” Christian girl because I wasn’t having sex. Since I know that I could easily slip back into sexual sin (especially if he wasn’t trying to protect us), I had to break up with my boyfriend. This question does not have a simple yes or no answer. First, answer these questions: How long have you been dating? In my previous dating situation, I was the one who realized and said that the boundaries were crossed every time. If you are the only one who cares about the boundaries, you have a problem. But this answer is coming from the dating perspective, not marriage.Now, after giving my life to God and walking with the Holy Spirit, I want to obey God physically. But during my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, the Holy Spirit convicted my heart every time we went too far physically. Does hugging and cuddling lead to temptation to go further sexually? There is a difference between an innocent hug goodbye and an intense cuddle session. To help determine if hugging and cuddling will tempt you, it is important to examine both of your pasts. This is a sign that he is not spiritually ready to lead you or to be in a relationship. If your boyfriend keeps crossing the line and pushing boundaries and not seeming to care – RED FLAG.I know you may think this is okay because you want to get married and may even be engaged, but I would urge you to wait.God knows what is best for you and longs to protect your heart.