Oh what a tangled online dating web we weave
You must also consider that it is also possible that you and your spouse can fall in love with each other again as events and circumstances change, which living on this planet almost assures will happen.
This question is a close sibling of the previous one, and should be answered when deciding if an affair might be “real love.” Today we have a model for love in popular culture that seems based in magic, fate or kismet.
The answer to how long affairs last is that the range can be anywhere between a drunken one night stand with no emotional attachment, and a life-long romantic affair that occurs without the affair partners ever actually meeting in person to consummate the relationship.
About half last longer than one month but less than a year.
Just like those strong, mindboggling feelings of your early relationship with your spouse eventually mellowed and were replaced by what you intentionally did for each other and a bond that came from a history together, feelings about your spouse’s affair (or your affair) will probably wax and wane over time.
Once the emotional upheaval slows, that history you and your spouse share is likely to remain.
* A relationship begun on a foundation of betrayal and lies has a difficult time transitioning to one of trust and loyalty.
Among other statistics is that 75% of second marriages fail, a rate half again as high as first marriages.
Frank Pittman and many others have conjectured about why affairs eventually fail to produce lasting and healthy relationships.
That likely does not make you feel any better about the situation you are facing, but it is something you should keep in mind as you try to decide what you are going to do.
The idea of romantic love as the entire foundation of marriage is what makes this question something to consider.