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"Initiating phone sex doesn't have to be super witty; you just need something that gets the point across," she says.

"One of the ways phone sex is easier than in-person dirty talk is that it gives you the flexibility to have a cheat sheet in front of you in case you get stuck," she says.

You can think of it as a Mad Libs exercise, but for sex.

To start the limits conversation, exchange one idea each about something you'd like to experience. Best case: There are two new options on your sexual menu," says Dr. "Some books, like , are made to be browsed together, giving you spicy ideas and info to boot," says Dr. "Most guys don't want to talk about it while in bed," says Joel D.

Block, Ph D, author of have the issue, say, dryness, Dr. "If you don't come to a clear verbal agreement and think, 'he couldn't be with someone else,' you're lying to yourself," says Laurie Puhn, couples mediator, author and creator of the nationwide course Fight Less, Love More. "If one person is raring to go and the other gives compliance sex,' it will not only fail to be physically gratifying but also to produce emotional connection," says Grenny.

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